Why Is My Boss/Mentor So Mean?

The Trials and Tribulations of Finding the Right Mentor

As young professionals, we often find ourselves seeking out mentors to guide us through the early stages of our careers. The right mentor can be an invaluable asset, providing us with the knowledge, skills, and wisdom to navigate the complexities of the workplace. However, not all mentorship relationships are created equal, and finding the perfect boss or mentor can be a challenging journey filled with both triumphs and tribulations.

In this blog post, I’ll explore my own quest for effective mentorship, delving into the unique personalities and management styles of four distinct bosses and mentors I’ve encountered over the years. From an impatient but knowledgeable "old-school" controller to a young, busy senior auditor, each mentor has left an indelible mark, shaping the professional I’ve become today.

The Young, Busy Senior Auditor

Fresh out of college, my first job was as an auditor at a Big Four firm, where my mentor was a young senior auditor on the engagement team. While they were technically responsible for providing guidance and support, I found that their youth and overwhelming workload presented significant challenges.

They were unable to dedicate the necessary time and attention to truly mentor me, as they were constantly bogged down with their own responsibilities. Instead of providing a comprehensive understanding of the audit process and the "big picture," they primarily gave me directions on how to complete specific tasks without explaining the underlying reasoning. I was left to my own devices, relying on my initiative and curiosity to learn the intricacies of the audit work, rather than receiving dedicated mentorship.

This experience highlighted the importance of having a mentor who not only possesses the necessary knowledge and expertise but also has the time and patience to nurture and guide their mentee. These early career lessons emphasized my need for a more well-rounded and engaged mentorship approach.

The Impatient, Old-School Controller

A few years later, I found myself working as an accounting manager at a larger corporation, with the controller serving as my boss and mentor. This individual was super knowledgeable and experienced but also had zero patience or tolerance for misunderstandings.

While I learned a great deal from this mentor’s wealth of experience, the relationship was not without its challenges. Their impatience meant that I had to be extremely thorough and well-prepared before approaching them with any questions or problems, as they would not tolerate repeat inquiries on the same topic. This approach, while instilling valuable skills like independence and diligence, could also be frustrating, as I was still in the learning phase of my career.

However, I recognized that their value-driven approach, such as the importance of working hard when the boss is not around, was an invaluable lesson that I continue to apply to this day. My experience with this "old-school" controller highlighted the need to find a balance between a mentor's expertise and their ability to effectively communicate and nurture, even if their management style may be unconventional.

The Young CFO with an FP&A Background

My next mentor was a young CFO with a background in financial planning and analysis (FP&A), rather than a traditional accounting background. This shift in the mentor’s professional experience brought both advantages and challenges to our mentorship relationship.

On the positive side, I was granted complete autonomy over the accounting and financial reporting processes, allowing me to take ownership of these critical functions. The CFO's FP&A background provided valuable insights and training in key performance indicator (KPI) design and analysis, which has proven to be an invaluable skill in my career. The shared stage of life, with both of us having young families, fostered a more understanding and flexible work environment.

However, the downside was that their lack of a formal accounting background meant that I couldn’t learn as much from them in terms of core accounting principles and practices. While the FP&A expertise was beneficial, I recognized the need to seek out additional mentorship to fill this gap in my professional development.

The Private Equity-Influenced Boss

My most recent mentor was a boss who had previously worked in private equity, and this experience had a significant impact on their management style and the skills they imparted to me.

The key lessons I learned from this mentor included effective slide design and presentation skills, with a focus on telling a story through visuals rather than cramming slides with excessive information. They also provided feedback in a constructive, positive manner, emphasizing what I should do rather than simply criticizing what I did wrong.

These lessons, particularly the emphasis on effective communication and feedback, have been invaluable in my career development, as I’ve been able to apply these principles to my own interactions with colleagues and direct reports.

The Qualities of an Effective Mentor

Based on my diverse experiences with these four mentors, I’ve identified the key characteristics and qualities that make for an effective mentor or boss:

• On-the-Spot Feedback: A mentor who provides timely, constructive feedback, rather than waiting for a formal performance review.

• Positive Reinforcement: A mentor who is willing to commend successes and encourage taking on more challenging work.

• Big-Picture Thinking: A mentor who can explain the reasoning and strategic context behind the day-to-day tasks, helping me understand the broader implications of my work.

• Relevant Expertise: A mentor who has the necessary knowledge and experience in my field to provide meaningful guidance and support.

• Challenging Assignments: A mentor who is willing to push me out of my comfort zone with more strategic, high-level work, rather than just routine tasks.

Tips for Finding the Right Mentor

Given the importance of finding the right mentor, I’ve also found three valuable tips for establishing a successful mentorship relationship:

1. Trial and Error: Don’t be afraid to leave a bad mentor or boss and try a new opportunity. Mentorship is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, and it may take some experimentation to find the right fit.

2. Probing Interview Questions: During the interview process, ask thoughtful questions that can provide insights into the potential mentor’s management style and communication approach. This can help gauge whether they will be a good fit.

3. Seek Out Referrals: If possible, try to speak with someone who has worked under the potential mentor before, as they can offer valuable firsthand insights into the mentor's strengths and weaknesses.

Conclusion

The journey to finding the right mentor is often filled with both successes and setbacks, as my experiences have demonstrated. By reflecting on the unique qualities and management styles of my four distinct mentors, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the essential characteristics that make for an effective mentor, as well as strategies for identifying and securing such a valuable professional relationship.

Whether you’re just starting out in your career or looking to take the next step, I hope the lessons I’ve learned can serve as a valuable guide in your own quest for the perfect boss or mentor. Remember, the right mentor can be a transformative force, shaping your professional development and propelling you toward greater success.

For more insights and resources on navigating your career, be sure to check out my Patreon community, where I share a wealth of templates, courses, and exclusive content. Additionally, explore my online courses, such as "Learn How to Design and Build KPIs and Financial Metrics" and "The Night Before the Accounting Interview Guide," which offer valuable insights and practical tools to help you excel in your career.

Remember, the right mentor can make all the difference, so keep an open mind, stay proactive, and never stop seeking out the guidance and support you need to reach your full potential.